


one last tender place

by helloearthlings



Series: KFAM Dialogue Prompts [13]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16190126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: Sammy’s not drunk, which is very unfortunate, as he definitely wants to be. He’s not exactly sure what he should be doing to cope right now, if there’s any decent way to cope with whatever it is he’s feeling.It’s not necessarily anything bad, it’s just - well, yes, it’s bad in that Sammy doesn’t feel right, his body and brain don’t really feel connected and he feels like a piece of him is being spooled out of himself, and he can’t think about Jack and what he’s doing for even two seconds without wanting to vomit, but. It could be worse.Jack will be home soon.





	one last tender place

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - 'You don't deserve this.'
> 
> One more dialogue prompt posting tomorrow, and then I've got one other thing posting Saturday that isn't a prompt, and then...presuming the weekend goes well...a project will start. So look forward to that! Hope you like this one!

Sammy’s not drunk, which is very unfortunate, as he definitely wants to be. He’s not exactly sure what he should be doing to cope right now, if there’s any decent way to cope with whatever it is he’s feeling.

It’s not necessarily anything bad, it’s just - well, yes, it’s bad in that Sammy doesn’t feel right, his body and brain don’t really feel connected and he feels like a piece of him is being spooled out of himself, and he can’t think about Jack and what he’s doing for even two seconds without wanting to vomit, but. It could be worse.

Jack will be home soon.

Sammy drinks his shitty beer and tries to watch TV, but he ends up turning it off because he just can’t focus. So he drinks his shitty beer in silence as the room slowly gets darker as the sun sets, and lets his brain go wild. 

The key turns in the front door before Sammy can devolve into a full-blown panic attack, but when Jack comes in the door, it looks like he’s done a lot more panicking than Sammy tonight. His hands are shaking, his pupils are dilated, and it looks like his lips have been gnawed raw.

“Hey,” Sammy hears himself say, blinking himself out of whatever nightmarish spiraling his thoughts had been heading down. “You okay?”

Jack shakes his head, and Sammy moves to stand up and go closer to him, but Jack’s next to him in seemingly less than a second, pressing Sammy’s head back into the couch as he climbs into his lap and kisses him stupid. 

Not that Sammy’s complaining - God, it feels nice to have Jack so warm and present and passionate - but he reluctantly pushes Jack away a few seconds later.

“What is it?” Sammy asks him, and something in Jack’s expression breaks as he sighs. He moves to bury his head in Sammy’s neck and breathes against him. Sammy reaches a hand up to twist in Jack’s hair. 

“I’m so tired,” Jack whispers into Sammy, and Sammy presses a kiss into Jack’s throat.

“It’s okay,” Sammy tells him, reaching an arm around Jack’s waist to pull him closer. “It’s all okay. The night’s over. You don’t have to do that again - well. Do you?”

Jack laughs humorlessly. “No. No, I’m never doing that again in all my life. I should’ve never - never,  _ ever  _ agreed to that in the first place. God.”

Sammy squeezes them tighter. Their manager, Chris, had wanted to set Jack up with his daughter. Jack, with panicked eyes at Sammy in the boardroom meeting, had stammered out an agreement.

The past week had been a constant anxiety attack on Jack’s part of trying to work himself up to cancel, but feeling like he just couldn’t or Chris would be angry, and start asking too many questions that started and ended with  _ why?  _

“It’s okay,” Sammy repeats, thinking he might have to keep repeating it all night. “It’s alright, baby.”

“It’s not okay,” Jack says, muffled into Sammy’s neck. “You’re my boyfriend and I love you and I only ever want to be with you. Always. I don’t ever even want to pretend again. I can’t - God - you’re all I want in the world. You don’t deserve this. This - this cowardice, I need to be better, I need to -”

“Jack,” Sammy says a little brokenly, pulling Jack even closer, running a hand up his back. “It’s not your fault. It was just - just a shitty situation. It’s never gonna happen again.”

“Better not,” Jack says, petulant and broken all at once. “God, Sammy. I never stopped thinking about you. I couldn’t tell you a word she said. I just wanted to cut her off - say I had to get home - you were waiting up - but I couldn't, I couldn't say it, I wished more than anything I could…”

“Shh,” Sammy presses his head into Jack’s shoulder. He knows exactly how Jack’s feeling, it’s littered underneath Sammy’s thoughts at all times. “I don’t care. You’re home. Let’s just go to bed.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack says. “I’m so sorry, I wish - I wish this was different. I wish  _ I  _ was different.”

“You’re everything I want,” Sammy says quietly. “I don’t care about anything else. Ever. Promise.”

“Is this ever gonna get easier?” Jack whispers and Sammy can’t answer that. It would make him spin out of control to even try.

“You’re here,” Sammy says simply. “Everything’s easy with you here, okay? That’s all I need.”

He knows Jack doesn’t believe him, but Sammy squeezes him tighter to try and prove it. He’ll never stop trying to prove it.


End file.
